A Boy is a Boy, Of Course, Of Course...

Happy Spring! The arrival of this beautiful season is yet another reminder that my son is due in less than three months. It has therefore been my duty as a first time father to start panicking! Well, it hasn't gotten that bad as of now. But I am beginning to really hit some books to at least read about what I can expect.

To my surprise, I am really enjoying learning about all the psychology behind boys. As you can see by the image to the left, I got this great book, Raising a Son by Don and Jeanne Elium. The cover just begs for parents-to-be-of-sons to get this book!

I'm learning all about the masculine force, the biology of boyhood, and what it really takes to raise a boy into a man.

What's been happening in our society, according to the authors, is that the journey to manhood has taken a backseat to our culture's advancement with technology. Parents now are so busy with careers that we've simply thrown raising our sons properly out the door.

So what do we do? Obviously, we cannot go back to the Hunter era when fathers literally stole their sons away from the village's women to live isolated with them and the rest of the village men for a year to learn how to hunt and fish. But what we can do, found on page 49, is be:

"...emotionally available and self-confident, strong and gentle, aggressive and life-affirming."

The authors go on to say many times even with fathers, "men still channel the masculine force into war, crime, and pollution. We are on the brink - financially, ecologically, and socially." Our fast paced life doesn't allow enough time for our sons, and social breakdowns like divorce prevail.

This makes me very sad, because as a father I intend on being the father my son needs me to be. I am scared as hell about it, but I am challenging myself to embrace this moment - and this amazingly wonderful opportunity - to be the positive and meaningful life force of a young boy.

I think about it this way... my son and I can learn together. Sure I will fall. I will disappoint him. He will disappoint me. But the love that our family will grow is going to be the net that will catch our shortcomings, and all we'll have to remember is that we'll do the best we can - together.