Wet & Wild

Wet & Wild
Originally uploaded by ryanloyd.

Since apparently I've been walking around like this all afternoon I figured it might as well go here on the internet. Yes, I am that sweaty...and just as I thought my problem was taken care of by purchasing & adding to my attire one of those stretchy garment undershirts to absorb my sweatiness...this happens!



I sort of figured my pants would be slightly wet from the day's heat, but upon further inspection in the bathroom I find out there's a long butt crack shaped stain that is very visible if one were to look at my ass (who 'isn't' looking at my ass - and now you see my dilemma!!!) Do you know how hard it is to walk sideways or to walk near the side of a building as to hide such a social blunder? I don't know of too many things worse than this. Even toilet paper sticking to your shoe is better - maybe not if it's brown or anything. Let's see...okay what about black pepper in your teeth, or even something green!! Umm, nope still not as bad. Let's try one more...ummm, what about a juicy fart in public? That's border line I would say. You see the trouble is that it just looks very unappealing. Tons of money is spent all over the world trying to hide or prevent normal body functions. For body odor we have colognes, perfumes, body sprays, misters, soaps, you name it. For unwanted hair there's waxing, shaving, trimming, or carving of exotic designs. I need not go into that one. So you see anything that looks or smells or feels natural is just offensive these days. Pit stains, sweaty palms, overgrown hair anywhere...forget it!



Maybe I need to pick me up some of those stretchy absorbant underwear garments for the general ass/nether-region sweating my body seems to love so much.