a whole lot of mind activity

The puzzle is still in the box, after all these years. You know how you can rattle the box, and you hear all the pieces hit the front and back, and sides of the cardboard? Sometimes that noise is a real fearful sound. It means nothing is done; it's still in a ga-zillion pieces. But then you open up, and find the corners, and you are so happy it's started. Oh, but look how many pieces are still missing from the middle.

College was the corners being put together. Joplin was some of the sides coming together. San Antonio has been more of the putting together, but now, for some unknown reason, someone just walked through my puzzle and disconnected the pieces.

I'm kind of in the middle of this bizarre wonderment phase right now. Maybe it's more like the beginning of the phase. Who knows, I've lost track. But of this thought-provoking change in my life, I've come to the conclusion: I like helping, or being of help to people. I like being creative. I like to see what else is out there... in other words, I like options. However, I do not like pressure. I do not like being told what to do when I work. I do not like having the job I currently have sometimes during the day.

Rewind to Sunday. I got to know this little girl at a Make a Wish Foundation project where volunteers were building her a playhouse. I liked the Make a Wish project; I liked the goals; I liked what it was doing for this little girl. I printed a volunteer application. I would like to volunteer.

Rewind to Friday night. Meagan was going home from a night out with Todd, Rachel, Sarah, Meagan and me. Meagan had a flat. I changed her tire for her. I liked doing that.

It's scary to change what your whole life has been focused on. I hear that a person will have an average of seven different careers during their life time. I've been thinking about going back to school. I called up this online university the other day, and I had a conversation with the admissions director to another school in Austin yesterday. It's in a career direction I've never even though about until now... culinary arts. I think it's very scary to consider this. Also very awesome. I think I'd feel liberated leaving my job because of a suppression of creative talents that I currently don't get to express.

I just always think about what could be....if I stayed. Then, one asks, how did anything ever get done if no one ever ventured off to try something else?

Lke Emeril says... Bam. Like Ryan says... Damn. The possibilities... the (culinary) art of possibilities.