Special to The Austin Citysphere
Last Thursday some dumb-shit flew his plane into a building. He wrote a "manifesto." It is long winded, fragmented and boring. You can read it here if you want. The best part is when he quotes a Talking Heads song. "How did I get here?" You got here by being an insane no talent ass clown. Check out crazy Joe's craptacular band, he is on the keys.
We like crazy here in Austin. I prefer to think of my city as the crazy people capitol of the world rather than the live music capitol. Sadly there are a lot of bands here that sound like crazy Joe's. So here we are. One building all messed up and we are right where we were before ole Joe crashed into a symbol. You can't kill symbol. There are so many things I would like to say to crazy Joe. Lucky for me a good friend of mine wrote Mr. Stack a letter. Becky feels very passionate and I think it comes across in her writing. If you don't like dirty words you may want to pass this one up. Don't be a pussy.
Dear Andrew Joseph Stack III,
I realize that you are dead and can't read this, but I would like to make the universe aware of what I'm thinking. You're not the only one with a manifesto, buddy.
First of all, can you say FAIL when it comes to your attempt at domestic terrorism? Gawd. A seven story building filled with 200 people, and you only kill one? I've heard of old people mistaking their gas pedals for their brakes and taking out more people than that. Lame. Oh yeah, and the main IRS building in Austin is on I-35 and Ben White. Have you ever heard of Google?
Oh, and wow, hating the IRS.. what a novel idea. What's next? Waging a war on Austin's 5 p.m. rush hour? How about flying a plane into Monday mornings? EVERYBODY hates them, get in line. Your self-important attitude shows that you are no better than those greedy bastards you claim to hate. Maybe you could take a look inside yourself. You baby-boomers do what you can to live this ridiculous "American Dream," get married, get great job, have a kid, buy a $232,000 2,500 square-foot home in Northwest Austin to impress your friends and family, buy a freaking plane, then get pissed at the world when, surprise... these types of things don't magically make you happy!
Quit your bitching. Wah, wah, "tax laws cost me $40,000." Hey, I have an idea on how you could have saved about that much money. DON'T BUY A PRIVATE PLANE you spoiled, rich asshole. Do you realize there is a fisherman in Indonesia who is living with a disease that makes him look like a tree. A fucking TREE. Do you look like a tree? Well, you don't look like anything now. But when you were alive did you look like a tree? I don't think so. Sure, you weren't the hottest guy on the block, but a tree you were not, my friend. There are people in this country who can't buy a car, much less a plane. Hell, I had to check my bank account the other day to make sure I had enough money to buy a pillow. Yes, a pillow. A pillow for my warm, comfy bed that I thank my lucky stars for every single time I get into because I have one and I know that there are people in this world that don't. Because, unlike you, I am aware of how great my life is. There are so many things wrong with me, my house, my car, my dogs, my country, but I know that at any moment of the day there is some child is dying of malaria, dysentery or AIDS. Or getting their clits cut off somewhere in Sudan (FUCK YOU, clit cutters!). Or they look like a tree. And because I don't have to deal with any of those awful things.. I am thankful.
Life isn't fair, and no one owes you anything (shout out to my 9th grade English teacher, Diane Harris, for instilling that lesson in me. Probably the best thing you taught me). In life, you have to compromise. America is not the best country to live in. I get it. Our tax laws suck, there is not enough regulation on big banks and credit cards that steal our money (fuckers), politicians are corrupt assholes who will say anything for campaign contributions and could care less for their constituents, and every single day our civil liberties get slimmer (what's up guys at the NSA! I know you're reading this. FUCK YOU!). But are we Mexico with an even more corrupt government that turns a blind eye to drug killings on a daily basis? I don't think so. Are we Haiti with no infrastructure to begin with, much less after a devastating earthquake? No. Are we France, which is full of a bunch of French people? No, so things could be much worse.
No one will ever disagree with you that those corrupt big bank executives that walked away with millions from the bailout are the lowest form of humanity. No one. But there is one thing that the little people of the U.S.A. have that those rich pricks don't: our souls. At the end of the day, we can sleep at night knowing that happiness comes from within, and really isn't that what really counts in this game we all call life?
Click here to read the entire blog.
0 comments:
Post a Comment